What do birds give to trick or treaters? Tweets.What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night? A monster truck.Why don't skeletons like Halloween candy? They don't have the stomach for it.Why didn't anyone want to go trick or treating with Dracula? Because he is a pain in the neck.What is a monster's favorite halloween candy? Bugs and (Hershey's) kisses.How does a witch know the best time to go trick or treating? She checks her witch watch.What is a vampire's favorite halloween candy? A sucker.How did the zombie become great a trick or treating? Dead-ication.How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween? He felt it in his bones.Why did the skeleton run away? Because a dog was after his bones.What do vampires take to get around on Halloween night? A blood vessel.How do ghosts do their makeup before they go out trick or treating? They use vanishing cream.Why shouldn't an angry witch take her broom trick or treating? She might fly off the handle.When do zombies finish trick or treating? When they are dead tired.What is white, black and dead all over? A zombie trick or treating in a tuxedo. Why didn't the mom let the little witch go trick or treating with her friends? She was ex-spelled from school.Trust us, the key to unlocking a wickedly-funny Halloween is at your fingertips. They are the perfect icebreaker to start off any Halloween bash, and can also come in handy during your party games. While some of these phrases may be a little bit cornier than others, you can count on them to at least bring a smile to the face of anyone within earshot. In our list of spooky quips, we’ve included Dad jokes, hilarious sayings to match your punny costumes, knock knock jokes, ghost jokes and, of course, a couple of phrases inspired by the best Halloween memes. How you go about inducing laughter this Halloween is up to you, but make sure you keep the jokes rolling all night long. And while the tricks may not be as popular as the treats ( Halloween candy is obviously the most important part of All Hallows Eve), sharing some funny Halloween jokes, one liners, riddles and puns is the perfect way to kick off spooky season. So, if you're not feeling the love this holiday but still want to enjoy candy hearts (because, yes, they're delicious and addicting), Wisecracks are here for you in your time of need.A couple of hijinks to get you in the holiday spirit is always necessary for a fun Halloween. They can be found at Kroger, Publix, CVS, Hy-Vee, HEB, and Meijer (online too!) for $2 a pop. Pegged as "end the conversation hearts," the heart-shaped candy comes in six different flavors, including wintergreen, lemon-lime, orange, cherry, banana, and grape, and features sayings like "Dream On," "Nope," "4 Never," "Let's Not," and more. The new candy heart is basically the naughty twin to Brach's conversation hearts - a long-standing Valentine's Day candy staple - but with a sarcastic twist. (Thank goodness for Galentine's Day, amirite?!) If you're annoyed with your valentine, you recently broke up with someone, or you don't have a valentine and are just feeling a little salty about the holiday in general, you'll definitely need to buy a bag (or 20) of Brach's newest confectionary treat: Wisecracks candy hearts. Valentine's Day isn't always the fun and flirty holiday it's made out to be.
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